Hey You !

When Bhaskar left the Air Force what I missed was being called "memsaab" by the domestic help- most colonial, most inappropriate but sigh !! Coming to the civilian life was getting used to being called "boudi", "kakima" and a rare "Didi". When Baba first went to leave me at my own first "home" in Pune, he was greeted by Kaushalya - our live in domestic help. She actually taught me how to cook, keeping a vigil as I graduated from lighting a stove to gas- learnt to boil milk and use a cooker. The story that became a legend was when I cooked Chingri Malaikari straight out of a Lila Majumdar recipe book, and the page turned and I ended up grinding three times mustard than required ...Bhaskar cried buckets and my pet cat ran away for days after tasting that "eye watering" delicacy. When Baba was leaving his instructions to Kaushalya was "Baby ka khyal rakhna" ....Kaushalya being used to the fauji culture looked here a...

Inspiration - they come from all sources. My soul cola in the morning turns out to be very interesting. The spiritual talk I listen to isn't really something high flown - I like the way it is related to everyday life. It is said that the best type of inspiration comes from the bus conductors  in a crowded bus who keeps urging "aage burho" ( move forward ) !! And th And I need to move on.... It has been a tough year for me- but again trials are like endurance tests- you grit your teeth, go with the flow, try to keep your head above the water level and keep thinking of something good waiting for you when this is over! Tough but it keeps you going..... And I want Baba to be normal- it breaks my heart to see him frail, gasping for breath and all fazed out...I keep telling him stories of my friends and how they are praying for him...of Darjeeling in 84 and showed him the pictures of the road trip from Kolkata- Jaipur  in 1983...the only thing he remembered was Ma falling...

My first heart break happened when I realized that Santa Claus did not exist and all the gifts that I had asked for including the Doll's House actually came not from North Pole , but Hobby Centre. The Christmas myth was passed down to Chibu - who would expectantly rummage the socks excitedly on Christmas mornings. And write notes to Santa.....As I grew up my last "christmas abdaar" before I got married  to Baba was to visit a mountain and fly in an aeroplane - and lo - we went off to Darjeeling and spent a magical Christmas of '84....my last solo holiday with my parents. This Sunday , when Baba gasped for breath and I rushed him in an ambulance I found myself wishing again for a Christmas gift....I wanted him back home before Christmas. His usual self ! Last evening as we stood outside the hospital gate Bhaskar sensed my tension and said "Think of the parents at Peshawar"- and in that blare of ambulance sirens and sombre mass of faces it was a close reali...

Watching Ice Age for the umpteenth time! This animated story about unlikely friendships and tales of survival even in the neanderthal age always fascinates me. Of compassion and forgiveness! We keep talking about relationships these days - of the open kind and the shut kind :-) And the open and shut kind ! I read long ago about an aged couple saying "In our times if something broke we try to mend it". And this was obviously before the term "use and throw" became a part and parcel of life- be it ball pens or jobs or relationships. Being alone gives me time to philosophize. This morning I was wondering how different my life is going to be a week from now. Enjoying my morning coffee  listening to the squirrels cheep cheeping is going to be a luxury soon . With work , hospital runs and the daily nitty-gritty I rarely have the time to breathe!  These are the pros and the cons of solo life - you gain some and you lose some. And that brings me back to my bucket lis...

The great bucket list of wishes..... To live , love and travel . Working is secondary! And then I look around, The  young boy suffering from cancer should be cured ! The mother who is spending sleepless nights should find respite.... Life provides us with this bucket of hopes- may all of them be fulfilled. And this is the last month of the year . I always think of life as a game of snakes and ladders - especially at this phase when the days merge into one another and you loose track of time as you climb the ladders or get temporarily derailed. There is always a new beginning , a new hope and a brand new bucket list to begin with ..... Resolutions? Nah - those are passe !!!!