Skip to main content

If all wishes came true for Christmas.....


Christmas wish listMy first heart break happened when I realized that Santa Claus did not exist and all the gifts that I had asked for including the Doll's House actually came not from North Pole , but Hobby Centre. The Christmas myth was passed down to Chibu - who would expectantly rummage the socks excitedly on Christmas mornings. And write notes to Santa.....As I grew up my last "christmas abdaar" before I got married  to Baba was to visit a mountain and fly in an aeroplane - and lo - we went off to Darjeeling and spent a magical Christmas of '84....my last solo holiday with my parents. This Sunday , when Baba gasped for breath and I rushed him in an ambulance I found myself wishing again for a Christmas gift....I wanted him back home before Christmas. His usual self ! Last evening as we stood outside the hospital gate Bhaskar sensed my tension and said "Think of the parents at Peshawar"- and in that blare of ambulance sirens and sombre mass of faces it was a close reality -and for the first time I felt no pride in being part of the human race....and I knew no amount of Christmas wish list would bring back the hugs and kisses of those little palms and lips!Hospitals are great levelers.......



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being an eagle mum!

I always told this story to my trainees. About being the Eagle mum. An eagle mum prepares the nest in two layers, first downy feathers and below that,the thorns. When it is time to fly she removes the downy feathers so that the fledglings who refuse to fly fall on the thorns and that makes them flap n fly away! Bhaskar always calls is cruelty, the bojjat mommy! But to me its a way to push one out of the comfort zone, for the world waits beyond! My kiddos moved out to their own place today. And despite being an eagle mum, I kind of miss the chatter. I knew in my heart I would miss having them around... But they need to find their wings!
Post a Comment
Read more

The road may be narrow and dark

This write up came back with a note of regret – for not being able to make to the next round in the competition, to the editor's table. Well, this is the first time I competed , that is if I do not count the House Competition essay writing, where I came second after Champa. Actually I do not why I took part – chance, curiosity or plain gambling …..because writing for me has always been a catharsis – an expression that I can share …..So no regrets , really! The road may be narrow and dark…….. It was 1983 and life with Baba always veered on the unexpected and the adventurous. Like that road trip from Kolkata to Delhi via Agra. We had this faithful Ambassador that took us on this journey with Baba at the helm and our cleaner Kalipada as his first assistant. I was the official navigator and Giri uncle, my father’s friend, in charge of our ummm, let’s say security, since me and my cousin Dimpi, both all of 18,  needed an escort , officially. Baba always liked the un-tr
12 comments
Read more

A holiday with self :)

A long overdue blog about the path that I was seeking , or did the path seek me out ? Over the years the sheen of belief was wearing off and I was beginning to question the master about the magic - about faith becoming commercial, about what Bhaskar stated, "This is all about money".  Packing my bags off and going solo isn't very uncommon in my life, but this time I was not on work per se. Checking-in into the Ashram, was on my bucket-list for ever-since, and it was an amazing experience. Despite the crowd, the ambiance just reverberated with a mix of reverence, energy , faith, hope, prayer - and questions too ! Like I mentioned before meditation was not about spiritual pyrotechnics, but a metaphor connected to life. Like the corner I chose had a vantage view of the stage and despite a stench that started emanating from the corner, I just could not leave that place, for the view that corner offered got me stuck there. Life is like that, we are often stuck in the rut ,
13 comments
Read more