post sublime ennui

My sublime ennui did not last too long ! Baba developed Facial palsy- gave me a scare . I caught the heat and fell sick! Not a good week , really, but by now I have learnt to live with crisis now..though I am never prepared and feel drained at the end of the day...but calm comes from the acceptance that this is life, getting all het-up and hassled will not work.I am helped by Bhaskar, who is amazing at keeping his head in crisis- I guess Chibu too has inherited the cool- factor in many ways ! I get all nervous when it's my dear ones ! I don't know why I sound so dull, blue..missing real action in life ! Missing the travel in many ways ! Bhaskar does not approve of that -infact that's the main argument these days over the breakfast table! He does not mind me going back full time to work..but not the solo travel ! It's six months now that I am back and haven't left ..haven't sang my bags are packed....!!!

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Being an eagle mum!

I always told this story to my trainees. About being the Eagle mum. An eagle mum prepares the nest in two layers, first downy feathers and below that,the thorns. When it is time to fly she removes the downy feathers so that the fledglings who refuse to fly fall on the thorns and that makes them flap n fly away! Bhaskar always calls is cruelty, the bojjat mommy! But to me its a way to push one out of the comfort zone, for the world waits beyond! My kiddos moved out to their own place today. And despite being an eagle mum, I kind of miss the chatter. I knew in my heart I would miss having them around... But they need to find their wings!

A holiday with self :)

A long overdue blog about the path that I was seeking , or did the path seek me out ? Over the years the sheen of belief was wearing off and I was beginning to question the master about the magic - about faith becoming commercial, about what Bhaskar stated, "This is all about money". Packing my bags off and going solo isn't very uncommon in my life, but this time I was not on work per se. Checking-in into the Ashram, was on my bucket-list for ever-since, and it was an amazing experience. Despite the crowd, the ambiance just reverberated with a mix of reverence, energy , faith, hope, prayer - and questions too ! Like I mentioned before meditation was not about spiritual pyrotechnics, but a metaphor connected to life. Like the corner I chose had a vantage view of the stage and despite a stench that started emanating from the corner, I just could not leave that place, for the view that corner offered got me stuck there. Life is like that, we are often stuck in the rut , ...

Sepia times

In recent times FB has come up with a new challenge that has everyone posting pictures in black and white- The B&W challenge had everyone using some app and changing the DP to that era. Cleaning my parents apartment, is always a voyage on a time machine for me - Strange how the people are gone and the objects remain- like that arm chair , once my grandmother's favorite then my father's ! I recently remodeled my grandparents double bed, more out of sentiment than anything else. And then, this was Victoria Memorial in an original two colored snap. Of course it is now a fad to Prisma or Photoshop or play with an app to bring back the sepia days. Among the many memorabilia , I discovered Dadu's MB certificates - Dadu was sauve, westernized and very social. The story goes that when he went to see my mother for the first time, he wanted fork and spoon saying that at home they used cutlery at the table, and my Didi actually had the table laid out accordingl...

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