As you grow older your perception to life changes. During the fire at our
apartment, our first instinct was to run down. And during the Amphan cyclone we
were prepared, though certainly not for the proportion of calamity that
happened. Yesterday's earthquake caught us unaware, did not give reaction time,
except to accept. Bhaskar carried on with his lunch, I decided to meet my fate
here and not go down the staircase from our 8th floor apartment and Chib held
the madly swinging railway clock as he thought it would fall off the hook! The
acceptance made me realize that maybe I do not want to run anymore! Call it age,
loss of mobility, will or resignation! The year has been not so kind so far,
health issues,horrific death of a forever neighbour, haven't been the way I feel
generally. And then I look at my plants in my sun dappled balcony. Ten days back
they looked yellow, wilted and uncared for,all thanks to my absence from home.
But today they bloomed, the leaves looked green, the flowers blossomed and my
prayer space looked bright again. Life goes on, and there is an expiry date to
troubled times too!
A long overdue blog about the path that I was seeking , or did the path seek me out ? Over the years the sheen of belief was wearing off and I was beginning to question the master about the magic - about faith becoming commercial, about what Bhaskar stated, "This is all about money". Packing my bags off and going solo isn't very uncommon in my life, but this time I was not on work per se. Checking-in into the Ashram, was on my bucket-list for ever-since, and it was an amazing experience. Despite the crowd, the ambiance just reverberated with a mix of reverence, energy , faith, hope, prayer - and questions too ! Like I mentioned before meditation was not about spiritual pyrotechnics, but a metaphor connected to life. Like the corner I chose had a vantage view of the stage and despite a stench that started emanating from the corner, I just could not leave that place, for the view that corner offered got me stuck there. Life is like that, we are often stuck in the rut , ...


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