A holiday with self :)

A long overdue blog about the path that I was seeking , or did the path seek me out ? Over the years the sheen of belief was wearing off and I was beginning to question the master about the magic - about faith becoming commercial, about what Bhaskar stated, "This is all about money". 
Packing my bags off and going solo isn't very uncommon in my life, but this time I was not on work per se. Checking-in into the Ashram, was on my bucket-list for ever-since, and it was an amazing experience. Despite the crowd, the ambiance just reverberated with a mix of reverence, energy , faith, hope, prayer - and questions too !
Like I mentioned before meditation was not about spiritual pyrotechnics, but a metaphor connected to life. Like the corner I chose had a vantage view of the stage and despite a stench that started emanating from the corner, I just could not leave that place, for the view that corner offered got me stuck there. Life is like that, we are often stuck in the rut , if not the rot, because of the advantages, the perks, the package deals. In a way I am glad that I arrived there after cutting clean of a job, that was like that corner in my life. It also made me get into a regimen of taking long walks by myself, watch the sun setting behind the trees, see the clouds changing patterns in the sky ,listen to the raven's caw breaking the meditative silence, and the squirrel that cheeped loudly as it wanted to raid my bag for food. 

In many ways it became a holiday with self- me and myself in silent company, as we were not allowed to speak under any circumstances. And you realize that words are superfluous, really, you can wriggle out of any situation without speaking- like the time I got locked out of my room and managed to get the housekeeping without uttering a word - of course my training in body language, mime and movements helped :) 
And in the end , I hope I am back there again, not for the answers, but for peace, solace and some more self reflection. And  I always feel the donation goes into good social work, which with all my good intentions, never happens. And I shall invest in experience than possessions.
JGD :)