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And if you leave me too.....


I changed my FB DP to a solo pic after eons. I guess it's time to let it go...Store away the memory and move on with the times. 
Some memories die a natural death and some a sudden death. 
I stood in front of 1/11 B Maqbool Alam Road in a state of shock. Those 3 minutes were like eternity when I realized that my childhood memories are lost forever. 
I had  always wondered who lived in that bungalow where I had spent all my childhood vacations. I  often wondered if I went back. will  someone allow me to lift the shutter of the iron gate and let me take a peek at the "Champa gaach" , under which I used to build pebble houses and played with my dolls.And where we found a  snake coiled into a roll one morning much to everyone's horror!!
We had a neighbor who went by the name of "Aloo". And we had a neighborhood school called "Bal Niketan"run by a lady called Suchitra , who dropped her surname because she was married to a Muslim , and the status used to be still unacceptable in those days. 
On our way to Sarnath, I could suddenly recognize the locality from the broken board that said Maqbool Alam Road. The turn showed a school that went by the name Mannat Convent and I wondered if it was Suchitra aunty's school reborn with the times and re-named ....while my eyes eagerly scanned for  my childhood memories . The park , which was once spanking clean had broken railings and the pretty bungalow where we stayed now was a concrete 3 storied Income Tax office. 
I wanted to take pictures, but was so shocked that I forgot - and I realized suddenly I have no one to share my memories with.
Last time when I visited Benaras in 2013 , I had shown Baba the pictures of the Sonarpura house, where Budhababa and mamomi stayed and where Didi stayed till her end. Baba had asked me about the cantonment bungalow, but I did not have the time to travel that far. This time though I found the house I realized no one will understand how the rose tinted glass shattered.....

But Benaras is not about sadness  really - it is about co-existence, about finding a new beginning amid the despair. Finding life in the decay and about shedding away those silent tears with the flow of the Ganges and lighting a candle for hope.......

Comments

  1. sigh... Life is all about letting go...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Some memories are so sweet that we wish that they linger on forever..yet the reality bites us hard n harsh..

    ReplyDelete

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