I live with pain these days - literally ! My knees, my joints , my wrist , my heart .... it's not a happy existence , but I live through it all- partying , movies , friends, reunions , award ceremonies, limping through and not giving in to the different degrees of pain.
2015 has been a year of goodbyes- Too many of them . Mostly painful - some had to be that way and a few conscious.
Saying goodbye , or partial goodbye to work has been a conscious decision. People around me think I am too young to quit, give up on the money - sustain my lifestyle and live with this doing- nothing- asking -for -nothing mode. I do not know it myself - it's just another experiment , another mid life blue , when I do not want to run with the time, after moolah and after expectations!
Tall order that - but I see life with it's sell by date is passing me by. At times I ask myself what do I live for ? And I realize I did not do so much cos I was waiting for the right time and it never happened. I still have a lot to learn from Baba - who would just take off because he wanted to despite his debility. He lived by his wishes and his will and had that never say die spirit !
I realize that a lot of dreams remain dreams and in many ways I am lucky that a lot of mine have come true. Especially when you can sit with the mellow sunshine warming your toes and you have a book on your lap and a steaming coffee by your side. I smiled when Sid exclaimed, " I want to be this now , and not when I am 50 !" Ah yes ... mellow, mid-life, meditative....and a room perpetually smelling of Moov ! It has its plus and minus.
Whatever it is .....to a new beginning! 2016!
Even if it is a beginning without the person who meant the most to me......
2015 has been a year of goodbyes- Too many of them . Mostly painful - some had to be that way and a few conscious.
Saying goodbye , or partial goodbye to work has been a conscious decision. People around me think I am too young to quit, give up on the money - sustain my lifestyle and live with this doing- nothing- asking -for -nothing mode. I do not know it myself - it's just another experiment , another mid life blue , when I do not want to run with the time, after moolah and after expectations!
Tall order that - but I see life with it's sell by date is passing me by. At times I ask myself what do I live for ? And I realize I did not do so much cos I was waiting for the right time and it never happened. I still have a lot to learn from Baba - who would just take off because he wanted to despite his debility. He lived by his wishes and his will and had that never say die spirit !
I realize that a lot of dreams remain dreams and in many ways I am lucky that a lot of mine have come true. Especially when you can sit with the mellow sunshine warming your toes and you have a book on your lap and a steaming coffee by your side. I smiled when Sid exclaimed, " I want to be this now , and not when I am 50 !" Ah yes ... mellow, mid-life, meditative....and a room perpetually smelling of Moov ! It has its plus and minus.
Whatever it is .....to a new beginning! 2016!
Even if it is a beginning without the person who meant the most to me......
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