Reluctant Mother

The much hyped Mothers' Day is over - and I can breathe easy. People can call me jealous, cos my son unlike the others is not so fastidious about wishing me and I have no one I can wish. He woke up at 1 in the afternoon and wished.....after a few reminders I am sure.
Back in school we used to have "Mothers' Day" - a day when the mothers came to see their children perform on stage. Once I was in the orchestra playing the triangle, and as we marched out I tried to look beyond the spotlight trying to find ma behind that darkness in the hall full of mothers. Ma always laughed as she narrated how I stopped on the tracks and looked for her and was nudged by the others.

Coming back myself , I began as a reluctant mother. Life for me was a breeze, parties, part time jobs, going out , travels, who wanted to be tied down to a crying baby and changing diapers?It took me almost five and a half years, two miscarriages and a major session of counselling to realize that I should go for the baby. 

Chibu wasn't an easy baby  - the first night he kept the ward awake till the nurse smuggled some tinned milk and fed him to keep his mouth shut - then he went down with physiological jaundice and was taken for phototherapy, sharing the space with two other ladies, with their crotch tied up with sanitary napkins (of all things ) and then he had dehydration with the fonatel dipping in like a spoon.  Not an easy task for a new mom who was getting used to the sleepless nights and a heavy dose of postpartum blues. 

Life wasn't easy - giving up on the movies and the books - the outings and the adda and getting into the routine of inoculation and boiling bottles and timing my sleep around the baby's sleeping hours and finishing my work while the mite slept.....And just when I was getting used to all this Chibu went down with Pneumonia. It  was a morning and I watched in horror as Chibu turned blue and we had to rush him to the hospital. Bhaskar was trying his best to keep the semblance and comforted me by saying "We will still have each other". And then it dawned upon me that I might lose the life that I was cuddling - and the thought cut through my heart like a cold knife and my first reaction was "What the hell are you saying ?" I guess that's the first time I realized once a mother always a mother and I have to fight for the mite come what may....

Chibu proved to be fighter and came out after a month long stay at the hospital and I took over the role of a full fledged harried mom. 

Bhaskar always says that these "Special "days are creations of Archies - to sell their cards before the e-card took over.And in my household no one believes in celebrations much. Once I tried to explain the day to Mamam, who was amazed that it's not a birthday, or an anniversary...."Ma hoibo, ta go abar din lage naki?" (To become a mother , do you need a day?) Logic indeed - try contending that!!