Sitting with my mid-morning coffee and watching the spider weaving an intricate web around the leaves and thorns I could actually feel the spring in the air- the touch of warmth , the cuckoo calling and FM talking about the V-day approaching. Not that it matters to me- I am more a voyeur than a participant in many ways.
My father -in -law veered in the present and the far and the very far down the memory lane - talking about elephants to cheer me up maybe. I am still not sure how I feel actually - I still am not sad and not happy either. I am little numb , a little dazed and I still feel am a spectator watching a film that is unfolding and I am hoping it will end the way I want it to end. But life I know is unpredictable - and the "kirdaar"s are not my marionettes.
And leaving Chibu at the airport reminded me of leaving him at that playschool in Naliya , when he was all of 2. I took him and left him when he got distracted with a car. I cried as I walked back to an empty house. And my son raised merry hell in that strange environment and among people whom he did not know. He eventually did settle down with Gomti aunty who would make him sit on her lap in the school bus and fed him when he could not feed himself. It was a ritual every morning we sit on a little "puliya" and Chibu asking me "Ami goobboy hoyechi na?" the days he did not cry in the morning. School and other educational institutions were never his favorite place and as he changed schools his first days mostly ended with a bucket of tears "Yahan toh koi bhi nehi hai"........ I reminisced all that on my way back....
This is a new beginning , and as he stood in the line and looked around searchingly... I wondered who is he looking for ? I wanted to linger a bit, but farewells and tears are something both of us cannot handle. I hoped he will be the "goobboy" and will find a meaningful life in whatever he does.Life and love are unpredictable and all I can hope for him is a rose garden...... I beg your pardon :P
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