There is nothing more complex than human relationships and emotions . Came back from a play that was a murder mystery thriller with the backdrop being unhappy marriage and an extra marital affair ! At times when I look around me I find the complexity looming large , jealousy, underlying malice, sarcasm and a race to prove I can live without you ! And it is all camouflaged nicely with a superficial smile ! I would have revolted even a few years back, but now I go with the flow....have I lost the sting? Maybe, like Bhaskar tells me only a few years are left....why waste it in a quarrel..enjoy what you get , when you get ...all Osho style
And then I wonder are there real friends ? Or is there always sheen over our innate jealous mind? I must be in a bitch-of -a -mood to ponder over this on a sunday evening ...but after having "lost" so many of my friends to reasons that are trivial and trifle I realized it is better to go with the flow...enjoy those who are in your life here and now without thinking "what they ever did for you " or " what will they do for me in the future " !! And friendship like any other relationship is brittle...there isnothing called a lifelong guarantee! I would be lucky if I still have a few friends left in my old age ! I guess Winnie and Eyeore are part of folklore ...really! And I guess in the end it is always "pop goes the weasel" !! And with time you learn to get the pop together and piece it....broken is never as good as new...but you still compromise and do with a substitute !
A long overdue blog about the path that I was seeking , or did the path seek me out ? Over the years the sheen of belief was wearing off and I was beginning to question the master about the magic - about faith becoming commercial, about what Bhaskar stated, "This is all about money". Packing my bags off and going solo isn't very uncommon in my life, but this time I was not on work per se. Checking-in into the Ashram, was on my bucket-list for ever-since, and it was an amazing experience. Despite the crowd, the ambiance just reverberated with a mix of reverence, energy , faith, hope, prayer - and questions too ! Like I mentioned before meditation was not about spiritual pyrotechnics, but a metaphor connected to life. Like the corner I chose had a vantage view of the stage and despite a stench that started emanating from the corner, I just could not leave that place, for the view that corner offered got me stuck there. Life is like that, we are often stuck in the rut , ...
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