wishful thinking

Sometimes I feel so lucky- especially when I realize that life in many ways has been kind to me! I have been blessed with the little luxuries. Walking through the slum where Mongola lives I felt guilty that people are happy even in that kind of poverty while I crib about my many misgivings- and this evening as I walked amid that squalor and saw how Mongola smiled even in her illness and such conditions , I felt ashamed at being so rude to her many a times!
Met an old student of mine yesterday....He came to me cos he was in dire need of money!I knew the money will never come back to me...yet I gave him !I could have said no...cos I needed that money this month...to reset my diamond bangle, for Bappa's daughter's mukhe bhaat, for a number of birthdays that are coming up! But I thought of him as class 5 kid..whom I taught and who just went haywire due to the circumstances!
Sometimes I wish the ideal situation wins in the end...ahh ..wishful thinking ! And my foolish heart !

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A holiday with self :)

A long overdue blog about the path that I was seeking , or did the path seek me out ? Over the years the sheen of belief was wearing off and I was beginning to question the master about the magic - about faith becoming commercial, about what Bhaskar stated, "This is all about money". Packing my bags off and going solo isn't very uncommon in my life, but this time I was not on work per se. Checking-in into the Ashram, was on my bucket-list for ever-since, and it was an amazing experience. Despite the crowd, the ambiance just reverberated with a mix of reverence, energy , faith, hope, prayer - and questions too ! Like I mentioned before meditation was not about spiritual pyrotechnics, but a metaphor connected to life. Like the corner I chose had a vantage view of the stage and despite a stench that started emanating from the corner, I just could not leave that place, for the view that corner offered got me stuck there. Life is like that, we are often stuck in the rut , ...

The 3 men in my life!

That's a strange caption I chose ! But for me, am in a sentimental nostalgic mood - It's not easy for me to watch, as the first man around whom my world revolved stumble, totter and be spaced out ! Of course his spirit is still strong and I ensure that he is never left alone or lonely ,but I guess I can't...in the end he is alone with his thoughts! Of course I am talking of Baba ! He still is my priority at times over Bhaskar , who suffers silently . Baba and Bhaskar can still be jealous over each other when I buy something for one and leave the other out. So it has been a habit now to buy 2 identical things for the two, cos I know they will end up comparing ! The third one is going to be 21 in two days time ! And aren't I glad that he has grown up ! I was not really the best of smoochie-woochie -baby -talkie mothers ! I guess that's the reason why Chibu still feels embarrassed when hugged ! But at times I am amazed that 21 years flew by...I still can remember ...

Morning bells are ringing ......

Heidi lived in Alps with her Alms uncle - I read this story in a book that was called The Big Big Story Book and it had a compilation of amazing stories that were my first foray into the world of English story books. Recently on a long flight I watched the movie much to delight of the young steward who was our attendant that night. My first glimpse of the Alps was from our flight ...the dawn breaking to spread the orange hues over the snowy terrain...looked mesmerizing even to someone who is not too fond of the mountains. Switzerland was beautiful, with its manicured terrain and flowers like pretty maids all in a row, picture perfect setting and breathtaking, like a touch me not porcelain beauty. Coming from my "elo melo" city I wondered how people managed to keep a country so organized , I have trouble keeping my room in ship shape...... No, I would not like to live there ......it's too distant and too cold ,but what I will carry in my heart is the awesome time .......

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