wishful thinking

Sometimes I feel so lucky- especially when I realize that life in many ways has been kind to me! I have been blessed with the little luxuries. Walking through the slum where Mongola lives I felt guilty that people are happy even in that kind of poverty while I crib about my many misgivings- and this evening as I walked amid that squalor and saw how Mongola smiled even in her illness and such conditions , I felt ashamed at being so rude to her many a times!
Met an old student of mine yesterday....He came to me cos he was in dire need of money!I knew the money will never come back to me...yet I gave him !I could have said no...cos I needed that money this month...to reset my diamond bangle, for Bappa's daughter's mukhe bhaat, for a number of birthdays that are coming up! But I thought of him as class 5 kid..whom I taught and who just went haywire due to the circumstances!
Sometimes I wish the ideal situation wins in the end...ahh ..wishful thinking ! And my foolish heart !

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A holiday with self :)

A long overdue blog about the path that I was seeking , or did the path seek me out ? Over the years the sheen of belief was wearing off and I was beginning to question the master about the magic - about faith becoming commercial, about what Bhaskar stated, "This is all about money". Packing my bags off and going solo isn't very uncommon in my life, but this time I was not on work per se. Checking-in into the Ashram, was on my bucket-list for ever-since, and it was an amazing experience. Despite the crowd, the ambiance just reverberated with a mix of reverence, energy , faith, hope, prayer - and questions too ! Like I mentioned before meditation was not about spiritual pyrotechnics, but a metaphor connected to life. Like the corner I chose had a vantage view of the stage and despite a stench that started emanating from the corner, I just could not leave that place, for the view that corner offered got me stuck there. Life is like that, we are often stuck in the rut , ...

Morning bells are ringing ......

Heidi lived in Alps with her Alms uncle - I read this story in a book that was called The Big Big Story Book and it had a compilation of amazing stories that were my first foray into the world of English story books. Recently on a long flight I watched the movie much to delight of the young steward who was our attendant that night. My first glimpse of the Alps was from our flight ...the dawn breaking to spread the orange hues over the snowy terrain...looked mesmerizing even to someone who is not too fond of the mountains. Switzerland was beautiful, with its manicured terrain and flowers like pretty maids all in a row, picture perfect setting and breathtaking, like a touch me not porcelain beauty. Coming from my "elo melo" city I wondered how people managed to keep a country so organized , I have trouble keeping my room in ship shape...... No, I would not like to live there ......it's too distant and too cold ,but what I will carry in my heart is the awesome time .......

rain on me .....

And the rains came....after days of heat, sweat and grime, suddenly everything looked washed clean , like freshly soaped linen ! The droplets hung on the leaves and the single rose in the bush, and the car got badly sprayed with mud....but who cares ? The sound of rain is the best music I heard in a long long time. And I could finally spot the elusive squirrel that was making a racket all these days and I just hoped the cat doesn't kill the squirrel.... It is a dog eat dog world...both the kittens died, one killed by the dog and the other run over. Only last Monday I was watching them frolic as I sipped my tea. Terrorism and unmindful killings do not have a boundary, from my garden to the world outside , no one is safe anymore. Just the other day I was thinking , these kittens are safe within the four walls of the garden and good that they have learnt to climb trees....but I did not foresee that they too would venture out. And my Tarot prediction on Facebook was ...

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