stuck on you !

Taking an unexpected break can be fun! Especially if it's midweek and a busy working day ! The reason may be anything- but I needed my time amid the trials ! At times life throws its challenges in a strange way- on the face of it life is calm...but I feel the tensions within, the relationships strained, hidden pressures at work...uncertainties ! Over my cup of tea and warm soon -to -be winter sunshine and the sparrows chirping, I know it wasn't what I should be thinking about. Sometimes I think of some relationships like my old black sweatshirt- frayed at the edges, comfortable, ugly but snug ! I have been wearing this for years and despite the fact that it is in tatters I cannot throw it out! So are relationships like that? Frayed and in tatters but cannot be broken because you feel comfortable within that ? It has happened many a times with my friends - I know I should move on, but I stay in the fray because it's a place I know ! I need my solo time again ! But that's wishful thinking - with so many responsibilities, a job that's here today and gone tomorrow -I am stuck .....with my old sweatshirt , and my life !

“You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how you'll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”(John Green).......

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A holiday with self :)

A long overdue blog about the path that I was seeking , or did the path seek me out ? Over the years the sheen of belief was wearing off and I was beginning to question the master about the magic - about faith becoming commercial, about what Bhaskar stated, "This is all about money". Packing my bags off and going solo isn't very uncommon in my life, but this time I was not on work per se. Checking-in into the Ashram, was on my bucket-list for ever-since, and it was an amazing experience. Despite the crowd, the ambiance just reverberated with a mix of reverence, energy , faith, hope, prayer - and questions too ! Like I mentioned before meditation was not about spiritual pyrotechnics, but a metaphor connected to life. Like the corner I chose had a vantage view of the stage and despite a stench that started emanating from the corner, I just could not leave that place, for the view that corner offered got me stuck there. Life is like that, we are often stuck in the rut , ...

The 3 men in my life!

That's a strange caption I chose ! But for me, am in a sentimental nostalgic mood - It's not easy for me to watch, as the first man around whom my world revolved stumble, totter and be spaced out ! Of course his spirit is still strong and I ensure that he is never left alone or lonely ,but I guess I can't...in the end he is alone with his thoughts! Of course I am talking of Baba ! He still is my priority at times over Bhaskar , who suffers silently . Baba and Bhaskar can still be jealous over each other when I buy something for one and leave the other out. So it has been a habit now to buy 2 identical things for the two, cos I know they will end up comparing ! The third one is going to be 21 in two days time ! And aren't I glad that he has grown up ! I was not really the best of smoochie-woochie -baby -talkie mothers ! I guess that's the reason why Chibu still feels embarrassed when hugged ! But at times I am amazed that 21 years flew by...I still can remember ...

Morning bells are ringing ......

Heidi lived in Alps with her Alms uncle - I read this story in a book that was called The Big Big Story Book and it had a compilation of amazing stories that were my first foray into the world of English story books. Recently on a long flight I watched the movie much to delight of the young steward who was our attendant that night. My first glimpse of the Alps was from our flight ...the dawn breaking to spread the orange hues over the snowy terrain...looked mesmerizing even to someone who is not too fond of the mountains. Switzerland was beautiful, with its manicured terrain and flowers like pretty maids all in a row, picture perfect setting and breathtaking, like a touch me not porcelain beauty. Coming from my "elo melo" city I wondered how people managed to keep a country so organized , I have trouble keeping my room in ship shape...... No, I would not like to live there ......it's too distant and too cold ,but what I will carry in my heart is the awesome time .......

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